Spring Break
New Jersey: The armpit of America
Mike Spangenberg/Weekly Columnist
Issue date: 4/11/02 Section: Commentary
The fact that students from New Jersey don't know how to pump their gas when they come to UConn means two very disturbing things. First, it means that they've never been out of the state of New Jersey and been forced to pump gas for themselves. Second, and more significantly, it means that they must have been tied up and blindfolded every time anyone has ever filled their car for them, because any knucklehead can figure out how to pump gasoline if they watch someone do it even once.
From my experience, the only people who truly love New Jersey are the people who haven't lived outside the state. Generally, anyone who has lived anywhere else, including Mogadishu, will favor that other location over New Jersey. Even the professional football teams that play in New Jersey refuse to identify with the state, but that gets us into a long history of New York City methodically defecating on New Jersey that I just don't have time for.
My friend Chris, who co-hosts the acclaimed new UCTV show "Row, Row, Row" Monday nights at 10:30, calls his home of Cape Cod the muscle of America, making New Jersey, of course, the armpit. I can't think of a more appropriate description.
From my experience, the only people who truly love New Jersey are the people who haven't lived outside the state. Generally, anyone who has lived anywhere else, including Mogadishu, will favor that other location over New Jersey. Even the professional football teams that play in New Jersey refuse to identify with the state, but that gets us into a long history of New York City methodically defecating on New Jersey that I just don't have time for.
My friend Chris, who co-hosts the acclaimed new UCTV show "Row, Row, Row" Monday nights at 10:30, calls his home of Cape Cod the muscle of America, making New Jersey, of course, the armpit. I can't think of a more appropriate description.