Spring Break
Sex and the UniverCity
The Positive Effects Of Self-Love
Aly Murphy and Elena Gaudino
Issue date: 9/28/05 Section: Focus
Nevers told a story of a woman who was married and in her 30s. She had never had an orgasm until she and her husband went out and bought a vibrator. This demonstrates that even those individuals in very serious relationships can rely on a little help.
It also takes some people longer to become aroused than others, Nevers said. One person might get turned on by the simple sight of cleavage, whereas another person may need a full warm-up session. For those people, we suggest heading into the bedroom a few minutes beforehand to prep yourself and have your partner join in when you're ready.
There are obvious differences between men and women, both physically and mentally, that often come to a head during sex. Even general differences in thinking patterns can cause subconscious interruptions, leading to a less than optimum ending.
"We will sometimes put down men for being one-task oriented," Nevers said. "They concentrate at the task at hand. Whereas I [being a woman] am all over the map. I'm thinking about the laundry, what to make for dinner, and oh, that feels good. I'm multi-tasking in my head. It makes it more difficult to concentrate. We have to learn how to shut out the extras."
Masturbating alone can help a woman "shut out" those extraneous thoughts for a few reasons. You pick the time, place and method. It also helps a person figure out what feels best on his or her own terms, without the influence of another.
On the other hand, the physical differences between men and women also play a large role in whether the big "O" will be obtained or not. According to sexoconseil.com, certain women respond better to different parts of their genitalia. Some women have an external vulvar and clitoral eroticism, whereas others are placed in the category vaginal eroticism.
The site claims females who have an external eroticism will experience less pleasure during penetration, while those with vaginal eroticism will have some pleasure strictly during penetration. Therefore, masturbation can assist in deciding what areas are more stimulating, so you can communicate this to your partner.
It also takes some people longer to become aroused than others, Nevers said. One person might get turned on by the simple sight of cleavage, whereas another person may need a full warm-up session. For those people, we suggest heading into the bedroom a few minutes beforehand to prep yourself and have your partner join in when you're ready.
There are obvious differences between men and women, both physically and mentally, that often come to a head during sex. Even general differences in thinking patterns can cause subconscious interruptions, leading to a less than optimum ending.
"We will sometimes put down men for being one-task oriented," Nevers said. "They concentrate at the task at hand. Whereas I [being a woman] am all over the map. I'm thinking about the laundry, what to make for dinner, and oh, that feels good. I'm multi-tasking in my head. It makes it more difficult to concentrate. We have to learn how to shut out the extras."
Masturbating alone can help a woman "shut out" those extraneous thoughts for a few reasons. You pick the time, place and method. It also helps a person figure out what feels best on his or her own terms, without the influence of another.
On the other hand, the physical differences between men and women also play a large role in whether the big "O" will be obtained or not. According to sexoconseil.com, certain women respond better to different parts of their genitalia. Some women have an external vulvar and clitoral eroticism, whereas others are placed in the category vaginal eroticism.
The site claims females who have an external eroticism will experience less pleasure during penetration, while those with vaginal eroticism will have some pleasure strictly during penetration. Therefore, masturbation can assist in deciding what areas are more stimulating, so you can communicate this to your partner.