Spring Break
Valentine's Movies For Haters
Katie Uhlan
Issue date: 2/2/06 Section: Out of Focus
5. 'American Beauty'
This is a movie where nothing ever goes right. The main plot follows a married couple who, from the outside, look happy and normal, and yet are completely messed up - each one with their own secrets, including the husband who fantasizes about his teen daughter's best friend.
Best line of the movie: "Our marriage is just for show. A commercial for how normal we are when we're anything but."
4. 'Havoc'
One of the most unromantic movies ever made. It is about a group of rich suburban girls, bored with their sheltered lives. They get involved with a group of thugs from the wrong side of L.A. Even hot, rich teens from southern California are unhappy. At the very least see Anne Hathaway of "Princess Diaries" fame in a totally different light.
Best line of the movie: "You ain't real. There's nothing real about you. Your talk ain't real, your walk ain't real, the way you dress ain't real. You don't even copy it from the real thing, you get it from the TV."
3. 'Unfaithful'
Man marries woman, woman has affair with French stranger, man finds out, man decides to kill aforementioned French lover. This is basically how "Unfaithful" goes. It is the twisted story of a woman who by all means should be happy, and yet she starts an affair and quickly becomes obsessed with her young lover. Diane Lane, Richard Gere and Olivier Martinez give incredible performances as the love triangle.
Best line of the movie: "Your eyes are amazing do you know that? You should never shut them, not even at night."
2. 'Closer'
A movie about a love square, no one ends up with the person that they should be with, and no one lives happily ever after. Although it does have some very romantic scenes, don't get discouraged it will all end completely messed up and satisfaction is guaranteed.
Best line of the movie: "No one will ever love you as much as I do. Why isn't love enough?"
1. 'Secretary'
A young woman has just been released from a mental institution, she returns to society with a job as a secretary in a law firm. Everything seems to be going fine for her until one day she starts a very twisted and torrid sadomasochistic affair with her employer.
Best line of the movie: "Sometimes the pain inside has to come to the surface, and when you see evidence of the pain inside, you finally know you're really here."
This is a movie where nothing ever goes right. The main plot follows a married couple who, from the outside, look happy and normal, and yet are completely messed up - each one with their own secrets, including the husband who fantasizes about his teen daughter's best friend.
Best line of the movie: "Our marriage is just for show. A commercial for how normal we are when we're anything but."
4. 'Havoc'
One of the most unromantic movies ever made. It is about a group of rich suburban girls, bored with their sheltered lives. They get involved with a group of thugs from the wrong side of L.A. Even hot, rich teens from southern California are unhappy. At the very least see Anne Hathaway of "Princess Diaries" fame in a totally different light.
Best line of the movie: "You ain't real. There's nothing real about you. Your talk ain't real, your walk ain't real, the way you dress ain't real. You don't even copy it from the real thing, you get it from the TV."
3. 'Unfaithful'
Man marries woman, woman has affair with French stranger, man finds out, man decides to kill aforementioned French lover. This is basically how "Unfaithful" goes. It is the twisted story of a woman who by all means should be happy, and yet she starts an affair and quickly becomes obsessed with her young lover. Diane Lane, Richard Gere and Olivier Martinez give incredible performances as the love triangle.
Best line of the movie: "Your eyes are amazing do you know that? You should never shut them, not even at night."
2. 'Closer'
A movie about a love square, no one ends up with the person that they should be with, and no one lives happily ever after. Although it does have some very romantic scenes, don't get discouraged it will all end completely messed up and satisfaction is guaranteed.
Best line of the movie: "No one will ever love you as much as I do. Why isn't love enough?"
1. 'Secretary'
A young woman has just been released from a mental institution, she returns to society with a job as a secretary in a law firm. Everything seems to be going fine for her until one day she starts a very twisted and torrid sadomasochistic affair with her employer.
Best line of the movie: "Sometimes the pain inside has to come to the surface, and when you see evidence of the pain inside, you finally know you're really here."