Spring Break
Inevitable Death May be Sooner Than Planned
Greg Pivarnik
Issue date: 10/4/06 Section: Commentary
Sorry to play Nostradamus, but everybody is going to die - at least that's what my organic chemistry teacher tells me. The actual quote being, "There are no guarantees in life, except that someday you will die." His reference is obviously referring to the fact that there are no absolute outcomes in organic chemical reactions. My purpose for bringing up the inevitable is that I have come to the realization that I will die within the next seven years.
By giving myself seven years, I am just being optimistic looking at the cup half-full. I need enough time to graduate college, get married for at least six months and hopefully pass on my DNA - and legacy - to an unborn future president. And no, I don't plan on killing myself - I like myself way too much to do that. After much introspection and contemplating, I realized that I am wasting the last precious years of my life waiting for World War III to begin.
It only takes one match to start a forest fire. I have a funny feeling that if a single spark goes off, the entire Middle East will blow up. It will then continue to burn for decades fueled by the precious oil that it sits on, literally and figuratively. I don't know what the trigger will be, but I know I will be over there risking my sanctimonious life the second the fighting breaks out.
It doesn't take a genius to come to the conclusion that World War III is an inevitable natural progression of current events. It all stems from the rocky relationships between Judaism, Islam and Christianity. To sum up the logic, Jews hate Muslims and Muslims hate Jews. Muslims actually hate everybody who interferes with their livelihood, which includes Christians. Christians on the other hand, also known as the Western world, hate Muslims the most and Jews a little less - they're both damned to hell regardless. So when it comes to picking sides, Christians ally with whom they hate less, hence the continued existence of Israel.
As for the spark, it could be any number of things. It almost occurred this summer with the conflict between Israel and Hezbollah. If Israel got any closer to Syria, I could've been dead already. Iran seems quite confident with its nuclear weapons program and it only takes one fundamentalist lunatic to set off one of those bombs. To be fair, it may not be a jihadist who even starts the war. Israel and the rest of the Western world are quite capable themselves. Bush has shown his amazing propensity to engage in armed conflict, facts be damned, and after watching "Munich," which was based on true events, I'm sure the Israelis could pull an ArchDuke Franz Ferdinand.
By giving myself seven years, I am just being optimistic looking at the cup half-full. I need enough time to graduate college, get married for at least six months and hopefully pass on my DNA - and legacy - to an unborn future president. And no, I don't plan on killing myself - I like myself way too much to do that. After much introspection and contemplating, I realized that I am wasting the last precious years of my life waiting for World War III to begin.
It only takes one match to start a forest fire. I have a funny feeling that if a single spark goes off, the entire Middle East will blow up. It will then continue to burn for decades fueled by the precious oil that it sits on, literally and figuratively. I don't know what the trigger will be, but I know I will be over there risking my sanctimonious life the second the fighting breaks out.
It doesn't take a genius to come to the conclusion that World War III is an inevitable natural progression of current events. It all stems from the rocky relationships between Judaism, Islam and Christianity. To sum up the logic, Jews hate Muslims and Muslims hate Jews. Muslims actually hate everybody who interferes with their livelihood, which includes Christians. Christians on the other hand, also known as the Western world, hate Muslims the most and Jews a little less - they're both damned to hell regardless. So when it comes to picking sides, Christians ally with whom they hate less, hence the continued existence of Israel.
As for the spark, it could be any number of things. It almost occurred this summer with the conflict between Israel and Hezbollah. If Israel got any closer to Syria, I could've been dead already. Iran seems quite confident with its nuclear weapons program and it only takes one fundamentalist lunatic to set off one of those bombs. To be fair, it may not be a jihadist who even starts the war. Israel and the rest of the Western world are quite capable themselves. Bush has shown his amazing propensity to engage in armed conflict, facts be damned, and after watching "Munich," which was based on true events, I'm sure the Israelis could pull an ArchDuke Franz Ferdinand.
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