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Letters To The Editor
Issue date: 9/10/07 Section: Commentary
Column Reinforces Gender Stereotypes
Britton Taylor's column ("Sex and the UniverCity," Sept. 6) addresses the difficulty of forming relationships at UConn and offers tips for achieving meaningful relationships within a college setting. She states, "For guys, you need to look for a girl that seems to be having a good time, isn't too drunk and of course, that you find attractive. Make sure that she isn't hanging all over a bunch of guys or isn't obviously attached. Girls, if you see someone who catches your eye, try to make eye contact with him, smile and seem available but, at the same time, don't make it too obvious that you are into him."
This gender-based advice - printed in my own university's paper - enraged and offended me. Not only do these tips outline a supposed "wrong type" of woman, they also assign different roles to men and women - men act, women wait. What century are we living in? I address all women: Do what you want! If you find a man attractive, introduce yourself! What have you got to lose? To a certain extent we shape our own images If the only action we take when we want a man is "smile and seem available, but at the same time, don't make it too obvious that [we] are into him," we assign ourselves an inferior role. By essentially not acting, we invite men to call the shots and we condemn ourselves and all women. Each of us must decide what we want and take action to get it rather than acting according to our calculations of what men want from us. And men, aren't you tired of having to do all the work? Would you not feel relieved and flattered if a woman marched straight up to you at a party and said, "Let's screw, I haven't gotten off in a while," or, "Would you like to meet me for coffee sometime this week?" or even, "I like your shoes?" I do not believe, as the article implies, there is a right or wrong way to initiate or sustain a relationship. There is only what works for you and your partner and what does not.
Aside from supporting antiquated gender roles, the advice presented in the column also implies that starting relationships requires careful strategizing. Love is not a battlefield. We do not have to strategize and scheme to build healthy relationships. In my experience, the happiest relationships form themselves naturally through the honest and spontaneous interaction between people, not through organized campaigns. In other words, I do not think that we have to try to form relationships. All we have to do is know and be ourselves. After all, each of us wants to be loved for who we are, not for who we pretend to be.
Wake up everyone. We cannot compare ourselves - as the title of the column indicates - to imaginary people living in an imaginary New York City. We are real men and real women.
- Cassandre Ortiz
Britton Taylor's column ("Sex and the UniverCity," Sept. 6) addresses the difficulty of forming relationships at UConn and offers tips for achieving meaningful relationships within a college setting. She states, "For guys, you need to look for a girl that seems to be having a good time, isn't too drunk and of course, that you find attractive. Make sure that she isn't hanging all over a bunch of guys or isn't obviously attached. Girls, if you see someone who catches your eye, try to make eye contact with him, smile and seem available but, at the same time, don't make it too obvious that you are into him."
This gender-based advice - printed in my own university's paper - enraged and offended me. Not only do these tips outline a supposed "wrong type" of woman, they also assign different roles to men and women - men act, women wait. What century are we living in? I address all women: Do what you want! If you find a man attractive, introduce yourself! What have you got to lose? To a certain extent we shape our own images If the only action we take when we want a man is "smile and seem available, but at the same time, don't make it too obvious that [we] are into him," we assign ourselves an inferior role. By essentially not acting, we invite men to call the shots and we condemn ourselves and all women. Each of us must decide what we want and take action to get it rather than acting according to our calculations of what men want from us. And men, aren't you tired of having to do all the work? Would you not feel relieved and flattered if a woman marched straight up to you at a party and said, "Let's screw, I haven't gotten off in a while," or, "Would you like to meet me for coffee sometime this week?" or even, "I like your shoes?" I do not believe, as the article implies, there is a right or wrong way to initiate or sustain a relationship. There is only what works for you and your partner and what does not.
Aside from supporting antiquated gender roles, the advice presented in the column also implies that starting relationships requires careful strategizing. Love is not a battlefield. We do not have to strategize and scheme to build healthy relationships. In my experience, the happiest relationships form themselves naturally through the honest and spontaneous interaction between people, not through organized campaigns. In other words, I do not think that we have to try to form relationships. All we have to do is know and be ourselves. After all, each of us wants to be loved for who we are, not for who we pretend to be.
Wake up everyone. We cannot compare ourselves - as the title of the column indicates - to imaginary people living in an imaginary New York City. We are real men and real women.
- Cassandre Ortiz
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saleh
Saleh Ibrahim
posted 9/10/07 @ 1:43 PM EST
It only makes sense that the value of any item under demand is proportional to its scarcity. The items that seem to be most available are the cheapest. (Continued…)
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