Spring Break
During Finals Week, Study Your Partner's Curves To Relieve Stress
John Bailey
Issue date: 12/10/07 Section: Finals Extra
Some may wonder whether this area of inquiry is even useful. And indeed, some men thought the question was rhetorical.
"The answer is yes," said John, a 1st-semester student. "All men will say yes. If they say no, they are lying. I don't know why they would lie, but they are."
Others preferred the scholarly approach.
"Sex releases endorphins, which reduce levels of stress in the brain," said Tom, a 3rd-semester student. "It's really the best right before you go to sleep."
Though Tom gets his mental workout during sex, one can get some intellectual activity done during the week as a whole - with some proper planning. Like any other source of power, sex must be carefully monitored to provide the optimum output. If you find you're tapping it a little too often, feel free to dial it back and do something else. You'll both still be there once that calculus exam is dead and buried.
Nate was out of his room for comment, but his girlfriend, Laura, a 3rd-semester student, was able to give some insight. When asked if sex was a stress reliever for Nate, she cackled and nodded enthusiastically.
"Oh, he's relieved," she said, grinning. "If you asked him, he'd tell you it was a great stress reliever - That's if he actually wants to have sex again."
The experience of Laura and Nate is an instructive one: if you're in a committed relationship and you plan on doing the horizontal tango through finals week, make sure everything is neat and square with your partner first.
We know men love food, but some seem fixated on it. Rob, a 7th-semester student, made the classic comparison.
"Sex is like chocolate," he said. "If you like chocolate, you know it can help relieve stress. If you hate chocolate, try sex during finals week. You won't gain weight and you'll definitely feel relaxed."
Gaining weight sucks, as Rob has clearly identified. But losing weight sucks, too! Don't neglect your stomach during finals week. Don't skip meals because you need to cram for that paleontology practical. If you're a real man, like these real men, you'll tackle a cow and eat it with a Slurpee straw. If you're a putrid, groveling mole, you'll eat a salad or something. Either way, food is good. We need food.
"The answer is yes," said John, a 1st-semester student. "All men will say yes. If they say no, they are lying. I don't know why they would lie, but they are."
Others preferred the scholarly approach.
"Sex releases endorphins, which reduce levels of stress in the brain," said Tom, a 3rd-semester student. "It's really the best right before you go to sleep."
Though Tom gets his mental workout during sex, one can get some intellectual activity done during the week as a whole - with some proper planning. Like any other source of power, sex must be carefully monitored to provide the optimum output. If you find you're tapping it a little too often, feel free to dial it back and do something else. You'll both still be there once that calculus exam is dead and buried.
Nate was out of his room for comment, but his girlfriend, Laura, a 3rd-semester student, was able to give some insight. When asked if sex was a stress reliever for Nate, she cackled and nodded enthusiastically.
"Oh, he's relieved," she said, grinning. "If you asked him, he'd tell you it was a great stress reliever - That's if he actually wants to have sex again."
The experience of Laura and Nate is an instructive one: if you're in a committed relationship and you plan on doing the horizontal tango through finals week, make sure everything is neat and square with your partner first.
We know men love food, but some seem fixated on it. Rob, a 7th-semester student, made the classic comparison.
"Sex is like chocolate," he said. "If you like chocolate, you know it can help relieve stress. If you hate chocolate, try sex during finals week. You won't gain weight and you'll definitely feel relaxed."
Gaining weight sucks, as Rob has clearly identified. But losing weight sucks, too! Don't neglect your stomach during finals week. Don't skip meals because you need to cram for that paleontology practical. If you're a real man, like these real men, you'll tackle a cow and eat it with a Slurpee straw. If you're a putrid, groveling mole, you'll eat a salad or something. Either way, food is good. We need food.
Viewing Comments 1 - 4 of 6
Marshall
posted 12/10/07 @ 1:40 PM EST
That was one of the most poorly written articles I have ever read. There was maybe one good sentence in the piece. Sorry if that kills your aspirations of being a writer. (Continued…)
Jay
posted 12/11/07 @ 5:12 PM EST
Not to mention the fact that sex is not just a "fun" activity for stress relief. Disgusting.
Sharon
posted 12/25/07 @ 1:40 AM EST
SOMEBODY's taking the internet too seriously.
adult sex toys
posted 6/12/09 @ 8:43 AM EST
I do agree that sex is wonderful for stress relief. Once I've watched Jay Leno and he said a study showed that women who have an orgasm the night before a competition tend to perform better. (Continued…)
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