The Daily Campus

Issue date: 12/10/07 Section: Finals Extra

Media Credit: Jamie Dee Fish During finals week, the last thing students should be thinking about is doing the deed - or is it?

Sex is all right, you know? It's not bad. It's pretty good. But is it always good? Well, it's fairly clear that there are times when sex isn't really the thing you need. Sex is counterproductive when skydiving, for example, or trying to hunt a whale or flying the space shuttle. These things require concentration and to do it properly, sex does too. Each of us only has so much concentration to give.

So what's the deal with finals week, then? There's a lot to concentrate on - integration, Shakespeare, polonium, your cute political science TA. For most students, the very mention is intimidating: "finals week" sends queasy shivers rolling through the mass of freshmen. "Finals week" makes the pile of books next to your desk rumble and grow tenfold, opening wide its cavernous mouth to devour the innocent. "Finals week" makes your libido curl up into the fetal position and sob.

Well, actually, it doesn't - at least, not for the lads. Having never seen nor spoken to an actual female, this reporter has no idea what happens to ladies during finals week.

Fedora shoved firmly over head, this reporter went into the man-trenches to figure out just what's on their little man-minds. While not eating animals or jumping monster trucks over exploding boats, it turns out that men are generally down with sex.

This shocking revelation holds true even, and perhaps especially, during finals week. Most of the dudes I spoke to considered sex to be like a big, warm stress ball: relaxing and fun to squeeze. What exactly did they have to say to the question: "Is sex a good stress reliever during finals week?"

Some men were simple but enthusiastic in their praise.

***Eds. Note: The names of the students quoted in this story have been changed at their request in order to conceal their identities.***

"I find that it's a great stress reliever," said Peter, a 5th-semester student. "It gives you a wonderful distraction to keep your mind off all the studying."

Note that he not only acknowledges the possibility of distraction, but welcomes it. Hours upon hours of physics will cook your brain like corn in a skillet, or maybe a brain in a microwave. Take some time off - even if it's not for sex. It could be a sexy movie, a sexy snack break, or a sexy elevator trip. Distraction is a powerful asset. Use it.

Continued...

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