Spring Break
Parroting 'Change' Is No Political Platform
George Maynard
Issue date: 1/31/08 Section: Commentary
There's been enough change thrown around during this presidential election to satisfy every beggar in America. Sen. Hillary Clinton, Sen. Barack Obama and Sen. John Edwards - before his withdrawal - all fought over who was the true "candidate of change." Obama's official Web site is called "Obama for Change." Hillary Clinton has been running an advertisement called "Ready for Change." Prior to leaving the race yesterday, John Edwards ran a blog that called on voters to "Join the Campaign to Change America."
Even some of the Republicans jumped on the bandwagon. Gov. Mitt Romney proudly declared himself as a candidate for change in one debate. Luckily Sen. John McCain was there to correct him. Romney is actually the candidate who changes positions, not the candidate of change; McCain was out to claim the title for himself. When asked about change, McCain said, "my friends, I am most proud of the change that I brought about in Iraq that saved Americans' lives." At first I thought he meant the war in Iraq, but then I realized that's actually cost American lives, not saved them. That said, I'm not sure what change he means. Regardless, the politicians ranting about change are so full of you know what that I'm surprised it hasn't started spewing out their ears yet.
There are a lot of reasons why these candidates need to alter their speeches to exclude "change" as soon as possible. First of all, when all they talk about is "change," it makes them seem stupid. In high school, my English teachers beat into me that I needed to broaden my vocabulary so I could impress people who were interviewing me for colleges, jobs and whatever else you get interviewed for. They said that people with small vocabularies - especially those containing copious amounts of vulgarity - sounded dumb and probably were, in fact, ignorant slobs. So, if the candidates want to keep harping on change, I suggest they use different words. Thesauruses aren't hard to come by. In fact, there's even one online at thesaurus.com, which is free. It suggests replacing the word "change" with any of the following; accommodate, adapt, adjust, alter, alternate, commute, or a multitude of other words. This way, candidates will be less likely to show how brainless they really are until after the election when it doesn't matter anymore.
Even some of the Republicans jumped on the bandwagon. Gov. Mitt Romney proudly declared himself as a candidate for change in one debate. Luckily Sen. John McCain was there to correct him. Romney is actually the candidate who changes positions, not the candidate of change; McCain was out to claim the title for himself. When asked about change, McCain said, "my friends, I am most proud of the change that I brought about in Iraq that saved Americans' lives." At first I thought he meant the war in Iraq, but then I realized that's actually cost American lives, not saved them. That said, I'm not sure what change he means. Regardless, the politicians ranting about change are so full of you know what that I'm surprised it hasn't started spewing out their ears yet.
There are a lot of reasons why these candidates need to alter their speeches to exclude "change" as soon as possible. First of all, when all they talk about is "change," it makes them seem stupid. In high school, my English teachers beat into me that I needed to broaden my vocabulary so I could impress people who were interviewing me for colleges, jobs and whatever else you get interviewed for. They said that people with small vocabularies - especially those containing copious amounts of vulgarity - sounded dumb and probably were, in fact, ignorant slobs. So, if the candidates want to keep harping on change, I suggest they use different words. Thesauruses aren't hard to come by. In fact, there's even one online at thesaurus.com, which is free. It suggests replacing the word "change" with any of the following; accommodate, adapt, adjust, alter, alternate, commute, or a multitude of other words. This way, candidates will be less likely to show how brainless they really are until after the election when it doesn't matter anymore.
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