Spring Break
Sex And The UniverCity
What If Sex Isn't Satisfying?
Emily Neumann
Issue date: 3/5/08 Section: Focus
Something as simple as schedule conflicts and a lack of face time with your partner can cause a great deal of strain on a relationship. Sometimes, couples no longer find themselves attracted to their partners, and even question if they were attracted in the first place. If the sex isn't satisfying (or isn't happening at all), chances are it's affecting other facets of the relationship. Unless problems are addressed, the longevity of the relationship could be in serious jeopardy.
By age 22, 89 percent of men and 92 percent of women have had sex, according to a 2006 study by the Kaiser Family Foundation. That means that most of the people you see walking around this campus have had some type of sexual relationship. Chances are that most of them have found themselves in a sexually unbalanced situation at some point or another.
Desperation to have a monogamous, steady relationship sometimes leads people to settle for a partner who has some desirable traits but still lacks when it comes to the whole package. Falling for someone who is thoughtful and caring is one thing - pursuing a relationship because of only these attributes is certainly going to cause trouble in the end. The term "chemistry" doesn't only imply that a couple gets along well. Physical attraction is a major factor in the success of a relationship. When physical attraction is lacking in the honeymoon phase, it certainly isn't likely to improve unless both partners make a serious effort to sort out what's wrong.
Many relationships run into trouble when one person wants sex more than the other. Most college men are in their sexual prime, and although many women won't reach theirs until their mid-30s, women in their 20s are certainly enjoying their own sexual freedom. But what happens when a hyper-sexual guy ends up with a girl who, frankly, isn't that interested in sex? What if a woman consistently finds herself unsatisfied by a partner who can't keep up with her sexual needs? When one partner isn't satisfied, it puts pressure on the other to perform better or more often. Feelings of guilt can run especially high, and questions of "what's wrong with me?" are surfacing in each partner's mind. Whether it's because one half of the couple simply can't keep up or the other can't slow down, the struggle to make each other happy takes a toll.
By age 22, 89 percent of men and 92 percent of women have had sex, according to a 2006 study by the Kaiser Family Foundation. That means that most of the people you see walking around this campus have had some type of sexual relationship. Chances are that most of them have found themselves in a sexually unbalanced situation at some point or another.
Desperation to have a monogamous, steady relationship sometimes leads people to settle for a partner who has some desirable traits but still lacks when it comes to the whole package. Falling for someone who is thoughtful and caring is one thing - pursuing a relationship because of only these attributes is certainly going to cause trouble in the end. The term "chemistry" doesn't only imply that a couple gets along well. Physical attraction is a major factor in the success of a relationship. When physical attraction is lacking in the honeymoon phase, it certainly isn't likely to improve unless both partners make a serious effort to sort out what's wrong.
Many relationships run into trouble when one person wants sex more than the other. Most college men are in their sexual prime, and although many women won't reach theirs until their mid-30s, women in their 20s are certainly enjoying their own sexual freedom. But what happens when a hyper-sexual guy ends up with a girl who, frankly, isn't that interested in sex? What if a woman consistently finds herself unsatisfied by a partner who can't keep up with her sexual needs? When one partner isn't satisfied, it puts pressure on the other to perform better or more often. Feelings of guilt can run especially high, and questions of "what's wrong with me?" are surfacing in each partner's mind. Whether it's because one half of the couple simply can't keep up or the other can't slow down, the struggle to make each other happy takes a toll.
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