Spring Break
You Say You Want A Revolution
Top 10 Revolutions, Rebellions and Resistances
John Bailey
Issue date: 4/4/08 Section: Focus
10. "The Resistance" in Half-Life 2
Not only is Half-Life 2 one of the greatest games ever made, it features some of the most crazy-loyal, beanie-wearing revolutionaries you'll ever see. Despite the fact that they're liable to get shot by Orwellian stormtroopers, crushed by mechanical titans from another dimension, or zombified by hungry headcrabs, they insist on repeatedly joining your cause. You can't help feeling bad after the 40th or so schmuck gets toasted by a Combine rocket launcher. "I'll follow you, Freeman!" No, please. Stay home. Hug your wife or something. You don't deserve to die, little digital dude.
9. Night Watch, by Terry Pratchett
If you haven't read anything by Terry Pratchett, you should probably just warm up the irons now. Put your eyes out when you're done with this paragraph. Regardless, this revolution has it all: cavalry pounding the streets, makeshift barricades, little old ladies on top of said barricades asking just what your grandfather would think if he were here to see you rabble-rousing. Sure, it doesn't make a lot of sense if you haven't read Terry Pratchett's other books, but that's no excuse. Get to reading!
8. The Rebel Alliance
The Rebel Alliance is pretty much responsible for my childhood: for me, there was no greater calling than sprinting around the sandy playground in elementary school, pretending I was an X-Wing. The only diary I kept when I was a tiny tyke was a long-running story about my friends and I flying around the galaxy as Rebel sympathizing mercenaries. If I ever get a tattoo, it will be the red Rebel shield, and it will be on my shoulder. I will use it to attract potential mates.
7. The French Revolution(s)
The greatest part about the French, aside from Victor Hugo, is the fact that they just keep doing the whole revolution thing. Is it pure restlessness, or is it a cynical awareness that any form of stable government will eventually become horribly corrupt? Is it the desire to constantly have good fodder for future Broadway musicals? Or is it a deep-set psychopathic attraction to guillotines? Whatever the reason, storming the barricades is practically a hobby in France.
Not only is Half-Life 2 one of the greatest games ever made, it features some of the most crazy-loyal, beanie-wearing revolutionaries you'll ever see. Despite the fact that they're liable to get shot by Orwellian stormtroopers, crushed by mechanical titans from another dimension, or zombified by hungry headcrabs, they insist on repeatedly joining your cause. You can't help feeling bad after the 40th or so schmuck gets toasted by a Combine rocket launcher. "I'll follow you, Freeman!" No, please. Stay home. Hug your wife or something. You don't deserve to die, little digital dude.
9. Night Watch, by Terry Pratchett
If you haven't read anything by Terry Pratchett, you should probably just warm up the irons now. Put your eyes out when you're done with this paragraph. Regardless, this revolution has it all: cavalry pounding the streets, makeshift barricades, little old ladies on top of said barricades asking just what your grandfather would think if he were here to see you rabble-rousing. Sure, it doesn't make a lot of sense if you haven't read Terry Pratchett's other books, but that's no excuse. Get to reading!
8. The Rebel Alliance
The Rebel Alliance is pretty much responsible for my childhood: for me, there was no greater calling than sprinting around the sandy playground in elementary school, pretending I was an X-Wing. The only diary I kept when I was a tiny tyke was a long-running story about my friends and I flying around the galaxy as Rebel sympathizing mercenaries. If I ever get a tattoo, it will be the red Rebel shield, and it will be on my shoulder. I will use it to attract potential mates.
7. The French Revolution(s)
The greatest part about the French, aside from Victor Hugo, is the fact that they just keep doing the whole revolution thing. Is it pure restlessness, or is it a cynical awareness that any form of stable government will eventually become horribly corrupt? Is it the desire to constantly have good fodder for future Broadway musicals? Or is it a deep-set psychopathic attraction to guillotines? Whatever the reason, storming the barricades is practically a hobby in France.
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