Spring Break
An Honest-To-Goodness Obesity Solution
Alex Schaefer
Issue date: 4/11/08 Section: Commentary
If you have not seen or heard of Dateline's never-ending special "To Catch a Predator," then you have somehow managed to seclude yourself from America's mainstream press and I envy you like a jealous neighbor. I have not been able to avoid it. My mom watches it with the earnestness of a football coach studying game film and she got me to sit down for a viewing. For those who are not on avid pedophile watch, the basic premise of the show is that Dateline colludes with an agency whose workers pose as young children in chat rooms. They engage older men in conversation and use the empty promise of a good time to lure them into a house rigged with hidden cameras. Then Chris Hanson, the show's well-tailored spokesperson, pops out and confronts these men while they wallow in shame in front of a national audience.
The agency that works with the show was created to combat the apparent pedophile epidemic that is sweeping the nation. They have a headquarters reminiscent of the NASA main control room, except they are not talking to astronauts who are exploring new frontiers - they are talking to men who are trying to exploit children. The draw of the show is equivalent to the allure of a car crash or the attraction of an extremely inebriated friend. It's not a pretty sight but for some reason people cannot stop watching.
I did not even know we had a pedophile epidemic. Maybe I don't read the paper that much. But I did hear that America apparently has an obesity epidemic. I think the most visible illustration of this problem is the recent Burger King ad where the Whopper is taken off the menu and people get infuriated.
How bad does one's day have to be going to cause them to walk in, order a Whooper and react with semi-violent rage when told that it is no longer offered - especially when there are seven other types of burgers on the menu? What kind of person does one have to be in order to work up a temper in this situation? If someone is getting mad over the absence of a specific offering from an otherwise hamburger-laden menu, then it is time to evaluate a few more life decisions.
The agency that works with the show was created to combat the apparent pedophile epidemic that is sweeping the nation. They have a headquarters reminiscent of the NASA main control room, except they are not talking to astronauts who are exploring new frontiers - they are talking to men who are trying to exploit children. The draw of the show is equivalent to the allure of a car crash or the attraction of an extremely inebriated friend. It's not a pretty sight but for some reason people cannot stop watching.
I did not even know we had a pedophile epidemic. Maybe I don't read the paper that much. But I did hear that America apparently has an obesity epidemic. I think the most visible illustration of this problem is the recent Burger King ad where the Whopper is taken off the menu and people get infuriated.
How bad does one's day have to be going to cause them to walk in, order a Whooper and react with semi-violent rage when told that it is no longer offered - especially when there are seven other types of burgers on the menu? What kind of person does one have to be in order to work up a temper in this situation? If someone is getting mad over the absence of a specific offering from an otherwise hamburger-laden menu, then it is time to evaluate a few more life decisions.
Viewing Comments 1 - 3 of 4
Evan Barry
posted 4/11/08 @ 12:51 PM EST
Is this supposed to be sarcastic or is it the typical trash being published in the daily campus?
Juliet
posted 4/12/08 @ 4:34 PM EST
I'm sure you think yourself terribly clever and probably got a big laugh from your frat boy friends. Consider doing a little research.
The "obesity epidemic" is largely dribble. (Continued…)
vesta44
posted 4/13/08 @ 4:25 PM EST
If this is an example of your rapier wit, I would say it needs some serious honing. I don't find anything humorous about eating disorders or the obesity epi-panic hysteria. (Continued…)
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