Spring Break
'C' Is For Cookie, That's Good Enough For Me
George Maynard
Issue date: 4/17/08 Section: Commentary
In those days, Oscar the Grouch was a perfectly acceptable character. He was always very cranky and grouchy - who wouldn't be after living in a garbage can? Today, however, Oscar is the model of a clinically depressed person who promotes an unhygienic and disgusting lifestyle. Children who view programs containing Oscar in his original form may think that it's OK to cavort in trash cans or be cranky at all times. This is only one reason why "Sesame Street" now comes with a warning label though.
Our next offender is Big Bird. That's right; this overgrown fowl has an imaginary friend named Snuffaluphagus. Since Snuffy is imaginary, only Big Bird can see him. God forbid kids see that. Big Bird's disturbing activities could encourage delusional behavior in children, and nobody wants a whole bunch of kids having to deal with the emotional trauma of realizing that their imaginary friend is not real.
That's pretty innocent stuff though, compared to the depravity of the next few characters. Ernie and Bert present a couple of issues that could emotionally scar younger viewers. First of all, there's the obvious question that could be raised - are Bert and Ernie gay? They are two guys sharing the same apartment. This train of thought, which must cross the mind of every five-year-old viewer at some time, could put parents in an awkward spot, so it's best to just not expose children to that sort of risqué portrayal of life. Besides their alleged homosexual tendencies, Bert and Ernie also live in a dilapidated basement apartment. Children should not have to be exposed to such dismal living conditions, so there's another reason to avoid showing them "Sesame Street." In addition, Ernie is a little slow, which could bring about awkward questions about mentally challenged people.
By far the worst offender on the show, though, is Cookie Monster. He is the epitome of everything that is wrong with American youth. This greedy blue blob gorges himself on everything from cookies and milk to plates, cups and even pipes! Cookie Monster enjoyed a brief stint in a Sesame Street parody of "Masterpiece Theatre," which they titled "Monsterpiece Theatre." As Alistair Cookie, Cookie Monster played the role of introducing and narrating the stories presented in Monsterpiece Theatre. In this role, Cookie Monster not only smoked a classy tobacco pipe, but he ate it too, complete with his trademark "Om, nom, nom, nom, nom" chewing noises. How scarring it must have been for young viewers to see that. It's a wonder that Americans raised in the '60s didn't turn out to be a bunch of pipe-eating, plate-devouring, googly-eyed fools.
All of this is pretty disturbing, isn't it? No, I don't mean "Sesame Street," actually. What's more disturbing is that valuable television is being labeled as "unsuitable for children" while absurd mind-rotting shows are being used by parents everywhere as babysitters for a new generation of bratty kids.
Weekly columnist George Maynard is a 4th-semester natural resource management and engineering student. His column appears on Thursdays and he can be reached at George.Maynard@UConn.edu.
Our next offender is Big Bird. That's right; this overgrown fowl has an imaginary friend named Snuffaluphagus. Since Snuffy is imaginary, only Big Bird can see him. God forbid kids see that. Big Bird's disturbing activities could encourage delusional behavior in children, and nobody wants a whole bunch of kids having to deal with the emotional trauma of realizing that their imaginary friend is not real.
That's pretty innocent stuff though, compared to the depravity of the next few characters. Ernie and Bert present a couple of issues that could emotionally scar younger viewers. First of all, there's the obvious question that could be raised - are Bert and Ernie gay? They are two guys sharing the same apartment. This train of thought, which must cross the mind of every five-year-old viewer at some time, could put parents in an awkward spot, so it's best to just not expose children to that sort of risqué portrayal of life. Besides their alleged homosexual tendencies, Bert and Ernie also live in a dilapidated basement apartment. Children should not have to be exposed to such dismal living conditions, so there's another reason to avoid showing them "Sesame Street." In addition, Ernie is a little slow, which could bring about awkward questions about mentally challenged people.
By far the worst offender on the show, though, is Cookie Monster. He is the epitome of everything that is wrong with American youth. This greedy blue blob gorges himself on everything from cookies and milk to plates, cups and even pipes! Cookie Monster enjoyed a brief stint in a Sesame Street parody of "Masterpiece Theatre," which they titled "Monsterpiece Theatre." As Alistair Cookie, Cookie Monster played the role of introducing and narrating the stories presented in Monsterpiece Theatre. In this role, Cookie Monster not only smoked a classy tobacco pipe, but he ate it too, complete with his trademark "Om, nom, nom, nom, nom" chewing noises. How scarring it must have been for young viewers to see that. It's a wonder that Americans raised in the '60s didn't turn out to be a bunch of pipe-eating, plate-devouring, googly-eyed fools.
All of this is pretty disturbing, isn't it? No, I don't mean "Sesame Street," actually. What's more disturbing is that valuable television is being labeled as "unsuitable for children" while absurd mind-rotting shows are being used by parents everywhere as babysitters for a new generation of bratty kids.
Weekly columnist George Maynard is a 4th-semester natural resource management and engineering student. His column appears on Thursdays and he can be reached at George.Maynard@UConn.edu.
Viewing Comments 1 - 3 of 3
Jaina Means
posted 4/17/08 @ 11:46 AM EST
You are right on about The Fairly Oddparents. It started out as kind of enjoyable, but quickly turned into an ugly mean mess, full of cruel humor, much of it dumping on girls in particular. (Continued…)
Stinking Kevin
posted 4/17/08 @ 11:54 AM EST
From the list of show you mention watching as a child, I am guessing you are at least 15 years my junior. So how is it that you turned into a grumpy old man before I did?
I understand and sympathize with you comments about Sesame Street. (Continued…)
Jeremy
posted 5/01/08 @ 3:30 PM EST
If you ask me, kis's television today is asking children to be less inteligent. Barney and friends has given the greatest contribution to this. Shows like Dora the Explorer and Go, Diego Go! feed the illusion that everyone is uninteligent. (Continued…)
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