The Daily Campus

Issue date: 5/2/08 Section: Commentary

How was Spring Weekend?

Do you even remember it?

Did you know the name of the person you woke up next to?

Sorry. Did you know the name of the "people" you woke up next to?

How did that introduction go?

Did you pack the Morning-After Pill?

By the way, have you seen the pregnant man?

Is giving birth really that hard?

How crazy is his girlfriend?

Crazy like Britney Spears?

Why does global warming ruin everything?

Does it even exist?

Is Rev. Wright proof that God really hates us?

Or is alcohol proof that he loves us?

Speaking of alcohol, seniors, what are you pre-gaming your graduation with?

Are you going for an import or Keystone?

How about a box of sweet, delicious Franzia?

Anybody going commando under their cap and gown?

Is President Hogan going to do it? Brazilian wax?

Isn't his cap and gown really fancy?

Is he still trashed from Spring Weekend?

How about stoned?

Didn't you notice his shifty eyes?

Don't you want a personal police officer for protection?

Did you get your picture taken with him?

Did you give him bunny ears?

Does anybody really even care who our president is?

How about the national president?

Is Ron Paul still in the race?

Is Ron Paul crazy - like Britney Spears?

Are you going to vote?

Do you think your vote counts?

Would you ever adopt a child?

Or are you ready to over-populate the earth?

Wouldn't you want to move to the moon?

What would people wear up there?

If UConn was up there, do you think they would charge us for air?

What sports would we play?

How big would baseball fields have to be?

Would the Red Sox still be so much better than the Yankees?

Or would the Yanks have an "astronomical" advantage?

See what we did there?

Could A-Rod stop using steroids and still hit all those home runs?

Would Roger Clemens cheat on his wife with an attractive looking moon rock?

Can you believe this year is over?

Yeah, we're happy too.

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