Spring Break
What if ... Amelia Earhart made it out alive?
John Bailey
Issue date: 10/22/08 Section: Focus
Embarassed, Germany capitulates immediately and promises to stop being so mean to people, in addition to paying Poland roughly 20 billion Deutsch Marks in "looked real scary" reparations.
Einstein tries his first pierogi and moves to Poland permanently, where his mathematical and physical theories lead to the development of the first atomic weapon.
the United People's Polish Republic (UPPR). Tensions with the West build until General Earhart leads a surgical airstrike to knock down the Warsaw Wall, allowing Polish people to move back and forth in Poland, which isn't very interesting to the rest of the world, who pack up and move on. Poland fades, as usual, into obscurity.
… Adolf Hitler hadn't been rejected from art school?
At his first exhibition after graduating from Vienna's Academy of Fine Arts, Hitler's paintings "Another Quiet Friday Night" and "Why I'm Lonely" draw national acclaim. Even as he begins to enjoy some fame, his father disowns him, insisting that no son of his will be a "nancy paintbrush holder."
Despite his estrangement from his family and growing sexual dysfunction, Hitler has a moderately successful career as an art designer for public service announcements, and begins saving up a little bit for retirement, spending his time listening to Wagner and eating potato latkes.
His plans are disrupted when an elite squad of vigilantes from the future teleport into his bedroom and kill him with a flamethrower, citing "crimes against humanity" and "atrocities that can never be forgiven." There's a small, confused mention of his mysterious death in the next day's newspaper.
… FDR had been
able to walk?
After a fairly successful fifth term presidency, FDR becomes a champion gymnast at the ripe age of 67. You go, FDR! Great work! Keepin' it real for old dudes everywhere!
Einstein tries his first pierogi and moves to Poland permanently, where his mathematical and physical theories lead to the development of the first atomic weapon.
the United People's Polish Republic (UPPR). Tensions with the West build until General Earhart leads a surgical airstrike to knock down the Warsaw Wall, allowing Polish people to move back and forth in Poland, which isn't very interesting to the rest of the world, who pack up and move on. Poland fades, as usual, into obscurity.
… Adolf Hitler hadn't been rejected from art school?
At his first exhibition after graduating from Vienna's Academy of Fine Arts, Hitler's paintings "Another Quiet Friday Night" and "Why I'm Lonely" draw national acclaim. Even as he begins to enjoy some fame, his father disowns him, insisting that no son of his will be a "nancy paintbrush holder."
Despite his estrangement from his family and growing sexual dysfunction, Hitler has a moderately successful career as an art designer for public service announcements, and begins saving up a little bit for retirement, spending his time listening to Wagner and eating potato latkes.
His plans are disrupted when an elite squad of vigilantes from the future teleport into his bedroom and kill him with a flamethrower, citing "crimes against humanity" and "atrocities that can never be forgiven." There's a small, confused mention of his mysterious death in the next day's newspaper.
… FDR had been
able to walk?
After a fairly successful fifth term presidency, FDR becomes a champion gymnast at the ripe age of 67. You go, FDR! Great work! Keepin' it real for old dudes everywhere!
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