Spring Break
Just Wonderings: The Holiday Edition
Our Opinion
Issue date: 12/8/08 Section: Commentary
Santa Claus is coming to town.
But what if you don't believe in Santa Claus?
Then Santa Claus doesn't believe in you.
Do you love Christmas?
Do you love Christmas music?
Do you ever notice how Jewish people like Christmas music more than Christians do?
And why do Jewish people think they can have Christmas eight days in a row?
And how about Kwanzaa?
What is Kwanzaa?
What do people eat on Kwanzaa?
Does Kwanzaa have an equivalent of egg nog?
Does anyone actually drink egg nog?
I guess maybe if it's spiked …
Egg nog goes well with cookies that you're not supposed to eat because they're for Santa.
Do you put out cookies for Santa?
Do you realize that you're contributing to Santa's obesity problem?
Is Santa going to be taking beta-blockers like the latest cardiac studies tell him to do?
Will he wash them down with spiked egg nog?
Friends don't let Santa drink and drive the sleigh.
Will you kiss someone under the mistletoe?
Will you be creepy and plant it there yourself?
What if you have no one to kiss?
Do you have pets at least?
Will you get your pets presents?
How about catnip?
What is catnip, anyway?
Does catnip just make cats high?
Isn't there something wrong with that?
That's something to ponder over your egg nog.
Keep wondering - we'll meet you under the mistletoe.
But what if you don't believe in Santa Claus?
Then Santa Claus doesn't believe in you.
Do you love Christmas?
Do you love Christmas music?
Do you ever notice how Jewish people like Christmas music more than Christians do?
And why do Jewish people think they can have Christmas eight days in a row?
And how about Kwanzaa?
What is Kwanzaa?
What do people eat on Kwanzaa?
Does Kwanzaa have an equivalent of egg nog?
Does anyone actually drink egg nog?
I guess maybe if it's spiked …
Egg nog goes well with cookies that you're not supposed to eat because they're for Santa.
Do you put out cookies for Santa?
Do you realize that you're contributing to Santa's obesity problem?
Is Santa going to be taking beta-blockers like the latest cardiac studies tell him to do?
Will he wash them down with spiked egg nog?
Friends don't let Santa drink and drive the sleigh.
Will you kiss someone under the mistletoe?
Will you be creepy and plant it there yourself?
What if you have no one to kiss?
Do you have pets at least?
Will you get your pets presents?
How about catnip?
What is catnip, anyway?
Does catnip just make cats high?
Isn't there something wrong with that?
That's something to ponder over your egg nog.
Keep wondering - we'll meet you under the mistletoe.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 3
Karin Needleman
posted 12/10/08 @ 10:03 AM EST
As far as Jews having Christmas eight days in a row, the celebration of Hanukkah came before that of Christmas, and at least our holiday is based on an actual fact (the Maccabean revolt, a guerilla attack against corruption), instead of a mythology. (Continued…)
Ella
posted 1/10/09 @ 2:55 PM EST
Thank you, Orlando!
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