Spring Break
New situations, places and routines, same relationship
John Bailey
Issue date: 1/28/09 Section: Focus
When you and your lovely significant other were first together, the world seemed perfect. You spent every waking hour with each other. You visited each other with surprise presents during finals week. You kissed every part of everything.
"It was more like gnawing," said Brenna Harvey, a 6th-semester English and sociology major. "Oh my God. 6th-semester? Have we been together for that long?"
But after a year or two, even the sunniest relationship can turn into a chore: those quirky tics become frustrating habits, and that back-rub at one in the morning becomes more suffocating than relaxing.
"Or your mom finds out your boyfriend writes The Daily Campus sex column," Harvey said. "That was pretty embarrassing."
Perhaps you start to realize that your partner is looming large over your daily life; perhaps you can't even get a moment free to complete your responsibilities - your schoolwork or your job, for instance. They just bug you all the damn time, dangit.
"Yeah, well, when's the last time you came to a single one of my shows?" Harvey said. "If you don't respect my pastimes and interests, I don't see why I should respect yours."
Even in a loving, committed, totally doe-eyed relationship, it's important for you to have your own time, your own space and your own activities. Even if you think you always want to be with your partner, because they're just so lovely. When you've been with the same person for a long time, they can get boring.
"Hey!"
Well, maybe not boring. Maybe it's just that being together becomes so routine that it's all you do and all you think about. It's easy to let yourself forget about ...
yourself.
"Right," Harvey said. "Like, your touch is starting to make me flinch, almost with pain."
You should remember to say it in a nice way, though. Maybe try not being a jerk for once.
"You were a big jerk in London," Harvey said.
Putting yourselves in new situations and new environments can be a powerful tool to broaden your mind and expand your own interests. Finding new hobbies, traveling to new places and learning new skills makes you a more interesting person - and you might find that you're starting to become that interesting person your partner fell in love with.
"It was more like gnawing," said Brenna Harvey, a 6th-semester English and sociology major. "Oh my God. 6th-semester? Have we been together for that long?"
But after a year or two, even the sunniest relationship can turn into a chore: those quirky tics become frustrating habits, and that back-rub at one in the morning becomes more suffocating than relaxing.
"Or your mom finds out your boyfriend writes The Daily Campus sex column," Harvey said. "That was pretty embarrassing."
Perhaps you start to realize that your partner is looming large over your daily life; perhaps you can't even get a moment free to complete your responsibilities - your schoolwork or your job, for instance. They just bug you all the damn time, dangit.
"Yeah, well, when's the last time you came to a single one of my shows?" Harvey said. "If you don't respect my pastimes and interests, I don't see why I should respect yours."
Even in a loving, committed, totally doe-eyed relationship, it's important for you to have your own time, your own space and your own activities. Even if you think you always want to be with your partner, because they're just so lovely. When you've been with the same person for a long time, they can get boring.
"Hey!"
Well, maybe not boring. Maybe it's just that being together becomes so routine that it's all you do and all you think about. It's easy to let yourself forget about ...
yourself.
"Right," Harvey said. "Like, your touch is starting to make me flinch, almost with pain."
You should remember to say it in a nice way, though. Maybe try not being a jerk for once.
"You were a big jerk in London," Harvey said.
Putting yourselves in new situations and new environments can be a powerful tool to broaden your mind and expand your own interests. Finding new hobbies, traveling to new places and learning new skills makes you a more interesting person - and you might find that you're starting to become that interesting person your partner fell in love with.
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