Spring Break
Red flags in your dorm room
Andrea Kahn
Issue date: 2/4/09 Section: Focus
Having a new girlfriend or boyfriend is great. You get to hold hands across the table in the dining hall or peck them on the cheek before class. You can usually get away with forgetting simple things because you're neck-deep in love. But not long after those love bugs are nestled deep in your heart will the time come for you to invite that special someone over to your dorm room. Not a problem, right? Probably, but there might be some red flags, just begging to be scoffed at, to be found throughout your cramped living space.
The Fridge Check
"What do you got in there, anyhow?"
You don't want to be scrambling to tuck away that three week old Thai food while trying to offer a drink of cold soda. And on that note, how much soda is in your fridge? A lot of people like soda, but having four cases of exclusively Mountain Dew in your fridge is no good. Soda's not very good for you and if you're drinking that much anyway, let's hope your new partner can nag so much that you kick the habit and stock your fridge with water or Odwallas. Those are drinks to be proud of.
Hyper Masculine/Feminine Posters
It's okay to have that poster of Muhammad Ali standing over his opponent, but if that is an addition to other posters of a similar persuasion (a "Scarface" poster or one of Johnny Cash flipping off the camera), there's too much man-power in the room. On the flip side, having a "The Notebook" poster or any Anne Geddes pictures of a baby dressed as corn is just as much of a turn-off. There's nothing wrong with liking any or even all of these things, but posters are a powerful way to make a first impression. The last thing you want is your sweetie to think she's going to get her butt kicked or you're going to be dress up in a corn suit.
Double-Check that Desktop
This may seem like a no-brainer, but chances are the computer will be the last thing you're on before your date arrives (because you are so nervous), and the chances are even higher that you don't even notice what your desktop background could be saying about you. It's okay to like porn. Really. Just don't leave that giant picture of Jenna Jameson wearing half a Santa suit as your background (also, come on, its February). This applies to the ladies as well, seeing as the girls are just as likely to have Jenna Jameson greet them every time their computer is turned on. Having a pastime is nice, and maybe you and your honey pie might bond further over your mutual love of sweet Jenna. For the first visit, though, switching it to the default Golden Retriever standing in a doorway is a safe route to take.
That Darn Roommate
Having a roommate that is completely unaware of any happenings in your life is not your fault. However, that doesn't mean you shouldn't try your darnedest to get them out of the room for those few hours. Otherwise, you run the risk of suffering through a painfully awkward interaction.
"Oh, hey Jeff."
"Hi, this is Gwen."
"Hey." (Beat) "You going to the comedy show?"
"Nah, man. You?"
"Yeah, I might go."
"Cool."
"Cool."
No, that's not cool.
The Fridge Check
"What do you got in there, anyhow?"
You don't want to be scrambling to tuck away that three week old Thai food while trying to offer a drink of cold soda. And on that note, how much soda is in your fridge? A lot of people like soda, but having four cases of exclusively Mountain Dew in your fridge is no good. Soda's not very good for you and if you're drinking that much anyway, let's hope your new partner can nag so much that you kick the habit and stock your fridge with water or Odwallas. Those are drinks to be proud of.
Hyper Masculine/Feminine Posters
It's okay to have that poster of Muhammad Ali standing over his opponent, but if that is an addition to other posters of a similar persuasion (a "Scarface" poster or one of Johnny Cash flipping off the camera), there's too much man-power in the room. On the flip side, having a "The Notebook" poster or any Anne Geddes pictures of a baby dressed as corn is just as much of a turn-off. There's nothing wrong with liking any or even all of these things, but posters are a powerful way to make a first impression. The last thing you want is your sweetie to think she's going to get her butt kicked or you're going to be dress up in a corn suit.
Double-Check that Desktop
This may seem like a no-brainer, but chances are the computer will be the last thing you're on before your date arrives (because you are so nervous), and the chances are even higher that you don't even notice what your desktop background could be saying about you. It's okay to like porn. Really. Just don't leave that giant picture of Jenna Jameson wearing half a Santa suit as your background (also, come on, its February). This applies to the ladies as well, seeing as the girls are just as likely to have Jenna Jameson greet them every time their computer is turned on. Having a pastime is nice, and maybe you and your honey pie might bond further over your mutual love of sweet Jenna. For the first visit, though, switching it to the default Golden Retriever standing in a doorway is a safe route to take.
That Darn Roommate
Having a roommate that is completely unaware of any happenings in your life is not your fault. However, that doesn't mean you shouldn't try your darnedest to get them out of the room for those few hours. Otherwise, you run the risk of suffering through a painfully awkward interaction.
"Oh, hey Jeff."
"Hi, this is Gwen."
"Hey." (Beat) "You going to the comedy show?"
"Nah, man. You?"
"Yeah, I might go."
"Cool."
"Cool."
No, that's not cool.
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