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Which mascot would you want helping you in a street fight?

Marc Gauthier

Issue date: 2/18/09 Section: Sports
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Jonathan dances at a UConn women's basketball game against Georgia Tech.
Media Credit: Ryan Sayers
Jonathan dances at a UConn women's basketball game against Georgia Tech.

The following takes place between 1 a.m. and 2 a.m.

You find yourself walking down a dark, strange alley in the middle of the night. It's Friday, and you got that phone number you've been dying for all evening, but all of a sudden, your one-drink buzz is starting to wear off.

You realize that maybe you shouldn't have listened to your roommate when he told you there was a shortcut behind the bar.

The next thing you know, someone steps out and wants to fight you.

If you lose, you hand over your men's basketball media credentials and all your HUSKY Bucks. In addition, if he beats you, he gets to put something mean about you in the InstantDaily. Probably something along the lines of how dumb your mug shot in the paper looks.

You don't want to take any chances fighting because the last person you fought was Martin Brodeur when you were playing "NHL Hits" with your roommate. Right before you're about to hand over your credentials and your Student ID card, something happens that changes your life.

Every single mascot from the Big East assembles behind you in the alley.

Jonathan the Husky steps forward, triumphant in all his glory, and says to you, "So it looks like you're being mugged."

"Yeah," you reply. "Yeah, I am."

"Well, don't worry," Otto the Syracuse Orange says in a high squeaky voice. "We're here to help you. You can pick one, and only one, of us to fight this person."

With the clock ticking, you have to think quickly. The question is - who do you pick?



The mascots not worth thinking about:

D.I.B.S. (Demon in Blue Suit), the DePaul Blue Devil

The Cincinnati Bearcat

Rocky D. Bull, the South Florida Bull

The Pittsburgh Panther



The mascots you just don't want:

Friar Boy, the Providence Friar

To me, it seems obvious why you don't want Friar Boy to come to your rescue. He sounds like some cheesy sidekick to an even cheesier superhero. I'm pretty sure that Friar Boy would lose in a fight to the statue of Jonathan outside of Gampel.



Otto the Orange, the Syracuse Orange
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