Spring Break
A hairy situation
John Bailey
Issue date: 2/25/09 Section: Focus
Hair is natural. Why mess with nature?
Well, many dudes probably have a laundry list of reasons why they prefer their ladies with a clean, body-wide shave. It looks nicer, it feels nicer, it doesn't challenge their pre-existing conceptions of gender identity and so on.
But what if you turn the tables? Let's say the men lose our little game of "spin the razor": how would guys feel if they were expected to whack off all that excess body hair (perhaps we should call it "fleshgrass")? Aside from the sudden, drastic increase in water usage across campus, what issues would the modern man suddenly be faced with?
Being men, they'd probably be interested in knowing about utility first. For example: ever had your hair pulled? You know all those belts and buckles and zippers and clippy, clampy metal bits you've got near your crotch? Do the (ouch) math.
"It's good to trim the trail so you don't get it caught in the belt," said James Chapman, a 6th-semester English major. Boys beware - a little shave could save you from your own jeans.
Also, for men that care, they'd probably be a lot less smelly if they were less hairy. Bodily scents get trapped easily in hair, which is fine if you're talking about your bowl cut - open to the sky, your head gets easily aired out. But the male armpit doesn't share the same luxury, unless you're one of those people who loves sprinting around with your arms held over your head. A little shave every once in a while is probably preferable to playing "human goalpost," especially when the February chills abound.
"You smell less like taint, and more like Axe," said Sean Carey, a 6th-semester philosophy and English double major.
And, inevitably, this tip extends southward, to the, you know, pubic region. If you've got a partner who spends any length of time down there, send a little favor their way with a quick flick of the razor - careful, please. It's easier to clean, and less likely to hide ghastly creepy crawlies.
Well, many dudes probably have a laundry list of reasons why they prefer their ladies with a clean, body-wide shave. It looks nicer, it feels nicer, it doesn't challenge their pre-existing conceptions of gender identity and so on.
But what if you turn the tables? Let's say the men lose our little game of "spin the razor": how would guys feel if they were expected to whack off all that excess body hair (perhaps we should call it "fleshgrass")? Aside from the sudden, drastic increase in water usage across campus, what issues would the modern man suddenly be faced with?
Being men, they'd probably be interested in knowing about utility first. For example: ever had your hair pulled? You know all those belts and buckles and zippers and clippy, clampy metal bits you've got near your crotch? Do the (ouch) math.
"It's good to trim the trail so you don't get it caught in the belt," said James Chapman, a 6th-semester English major. Boys beware - a little shave could save you from your own jeans.
Also, for men that care, they'd probably be a lot less smelly if they were less hairy. Bodily scents get trapped easily in hair, which is fine if you're talking about your bowl cut - open to the sky, your head gets easily aired out. But the male armpit doesn't share the same luxury, unless you're one of those people who loves sprinting around with your arms held over your head. A little shave every once in a while is probably preferable to playing "human goalpost," especially when the February chills abound.
"You smell less like taint, and more like Axe," said Sean Carey, a 6th-semester philosophy and English double major.
And, inevitably, this tip extends southward, to the, you know, pubic region. If you've got a partner who spends any length of time down there, send a little favor their way with a quick flick of the razor - careful, please. It's easier to clean, and less likely to hide ghastly creepy crawlies.
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