Spring Break
Ridiculist: Yeah! Road trip to Agincourt!
John Bailey
Issue date: 3/6/09 Section: Focus
You think you've got cool plans next week? No. You don't. Not like these people. These people are from history. As you sail down the jet-stream to the Bahamas or Key West or Cancun, pause and recall the rich tradition of which you've become a part.
Abraham Lincoln's seven-day drama marathon
Despite his boundless energy and over-long limbs, winning the American Civil War has left President Abraham Lincoln exhausted. He's planning a weeklong recuperation with nightly showings of his favorite play, "Our American Cousin." The President will leave his crack team of samurai bodyguards and emergency doctors at home, saying that "Professionals have no taste for the arts. Besides, who would ever want to shoot me in a theater? I mean, really?" ... Uh, too soon?
Oregon Trail road trip
"Oh. Shoot the bear! Shoot the bear!"
(click)
"Yeah!"
"A weasel! Shoot the weasel!"
(click, click, click)
"I can't hit the weasels. Weasels are too small, and they're so fast."
"Yeah. Hey, you can only carry 100 pounds back to the wagon? What gives? I hate this game. I'm hungry. Hey, Mom? Mom?"
"Guys, I think Mom died of cholera."
"Dammit."
Alternative Spring Break to the New World
Tired of wasting your life?
Want to make a difference this year? Join the University of England's Alternative Spring Break trip to the New World!
Experience life free from the constraints of modern society! Work to develop over 3 million square miles of unspoiled land! Performing engaging community service projects with charmingly rustic natives! No smallpox, typhus or measles screenings necessary!
Beethoven's Artistic Retreat
"OK, got my appletini, got my fountain pen... a whole week away from the wifey...
OK.
Here I go.
So... Man.
What to write, what to write... C-minor? Dun dun... dun dun, nah.
God, C-minor is so f---ing trite.
Yeah, well, so's everything, I guess.
Minor is trite
Abraham Lincoln's seven-day drama marathon
Despite his boundless energy and over-long limbs, winning the American Civil War has left President Abraham Lincoln exhausted. He's planning a weeklong recuperation with nightly showings of his favorite play, "Our American Cousin." The President will leave his crack team of samurai bodyguards and emergency doctors at home, saying that "Professionals have no taste for the arts. Besides, who would ever want to shoot me in a theater? I mean, really?" ... Uh, too soon?
Oregon Trail road trip
"Oh. Shoot the bear! Shoot the bear!"
(click)
"Yeah!"
"A weasel! Shoot the weasel!"
(click, click, click)
"I can't hit the weasels. Weasels are too small, and they're so fast."
"Yeah. Hey, you can only carry 100 pounds back to the wagon? What gives? I hate this game. I'm hungry. Hey, Mom? Mom?"
"Guys, I think Mom died of cholera."
"Dammit."
Alternative Spring Break to the New World
Tired of wasting your life?
Want to make a difference this year? Join the University of England's Alternative Spring Break trip to the New World!
Experience life free from the constraints of modern society! Work to develop over 3 million square miles of unspoiled land! Performing engaging community service projects with charmingly rustic natives! No smallpox, typhus or measles screenings necessary!
Beethoven's Artistic Retreat
"OK, got my appletini, got my fountain pen... a whole week away from the wifey...
OK.
Here I go.
So... Man.
What to write, what to write... C-minor? Dun dun... dun dun, nah.
God, C-minor is so f---ing trite.
Yeah, well, so's everything, I guess.
Minor is trite
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