The Daily Campus

Issue date: 3/20/09 Section: Focus

Remember the cool kids on the playground? The ones who had all the best imaginary equipment? Remember how jealous you were? The RidicuList does, too. The RidicuList felt the sting of imaginative poverty.
But while you just got shoved around, we got angry, and we got smart. Now, with our brilliant ideas, you can go back to elementary school and rule the monkey bars with the most powerful gear that doesn't exist.

Lava Spike Gun
"It shoots lava spikes?"
"Lava spikes! Yeah! Bang bang bang!"
"Spikes made of lava?"
"Yeah! I got you! Die!"
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You're an idiot, Timmy."

Face Switcher
"Susie! Say the thing!"
"No, I'm not saying it! It's gross!"
"Say the thing or I'll use the Face Switcher!"
"Hey! Not fair!"
"Say it!"
"OK... 'I eat poop.'"
"Nyah! She said she eats poop!"

Peanut Butter Factory
"If you pour the water in the sand... yeah, do it! Check it out! All this brown foamy stuff!"
"It must be peanut butter!"
"Let's start a peanut butter factory! Yeah! We're gonna be rich!"

Robot Turner-Intoer
"Gentlemen! How was the mission to Girl Island?"
"It was so bad! Frankie tripped and hurt his knee! And they got Johnny! They're gonna..."
"Oh no! What are the girls gonna do to Johnny!"
"They're gonna put him into the Robot Turner-Intoer!"

Force Field
"You can't move! You're in the force field!"
"OK! I shoot you through the force field!"
"You can't shoot through the force field. I can shoot you through the force field, but you can't shoot out of the force field!"
"I'm flying out of the force field."
"You can't! There's reverse gravity... only in the force field!"

Big Pink Boots
"Billy, you loser! What are you wearing?"
"They're my Turbo Boots!"
"No they're not! Your boots look stupid, Billy! Billy's stupid!"
"No I'm not! I've got rocket thrusters! Wooosh."
"Billy, those boots are big and pink and they're the only thing you got for Christmas."
"Shut up! I hate you!"

Tree Control Panel
"I'm at the tree base! You can't get me, I'm at the tree base!"
"No, you're in the force field! The force field cancels the base!"
"I'm hitting the 'disable force field button,' I have one! It's on the control panel!"

Poop Thermos
"OK! We're playing poop tag! I'm it!"
"Aaah!"
"I got you, Frankie! I got Frankie!"
"Hey!"
"Frankie has to go to the Poop Thermos! Ha ha ha!"
"I hate the stupid Poop Thermos!"

Acid Lava Spike Gun
"Ha ha! I got you! I got you with my Acid Lava Spike Gun!"
"Timothy, I need that report on my desk in 20 minutes."

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