The Daily Campus

Issue date: 3/25/09 Section: Focus

According to the Declaration of Independence, spring is about two things: games and sex. That's why we play basketball during March, you know. It's patriotic. But there's a new game in town. A more important game. The only game, in fact. UConn, are you ready for the Sex and the UniverCity Crazy Sex Locations Super Bonus Tournament? Yes! You are!

Here's your checklist. You win points by getting your game on - your sexual game - in each of these locations. Highest score wins some free condoms, although you'll need to go to Health Services to pick them up. Always stay safe! Now get screwin'!



Nature

[ ] On Horsebarn Hill: 1 point

[ ] In the tree behind Monteith: 2 points

[ ] On Horsebarn Hill, at night, and you shoot off a flare gun at the moment of climax: 15 points



Mirror Lake

[ ] On the island: 1 point

[ ] On the lake ice: 3 points

[ ] In a log canoe fashioned from one of the island trees: 15 points

GOOD NEIGHBOR BONUS: Contrive to either scare off or kill all the geese during the act of copulation for 10 additional points.



Library

[ ] In the stacks: 2 point

[ ] On the ground floor: 4 points

[ ] In Bookworms, while yelling into a megaphone: 10 points



Dorm Room

[ ] In your dorm room: ¼ point

[ ] In a dorm room neither yours nor your partner's: 1 point

[ ] In your dorm room, while your roommate is there: 1 point

[ ] In your dorm room, while your parents are there, and the building is being demolished: 20 points



Gampel Pavilion

[ ] In the bleachers: 1 point

[ ] During a basketball game: 2 points

[ ] During the NCAA championship game, while shooting a free throw with your other hand and forcing Terence Williams to foul out on your entwined bodies. Also, you're so sexy that they're holding the NCAA championship game in Gampel: 50 points and Go Huskies!

Continued...

Page 1 of 2 next >

Article Tools