Spring Break
Alma mater maestro
Kevin Duffy
Issue date: 4/21/09 Section: Sports
There aren't many things in life that I am good at.
I'm a decent athlete, but nothing special. I'm a decent student, but I skip class too much to be considered "smart." I am lost when it comes to technology and handy-work around the house. If you read my weekly column in The Daily Campus this year, you know I'm a crappy writer. And if you look at the mugshot above, it's pretty clear that God didn't bless me with good looks, either.
He did, however, bless me with one special gift: the ability to memorize where NBA players went to college. I only need to see a player's college once before it's engraved into my mind forever. It's the one area of life where I feel useful to humanity.
My friends know how good I am. Whenever they desperately need to know where Tony Battie went to school, I'm always there to tell them "Texas Tech."
Enter my sister, Megan Duffy, a 4th-semester business major at UConn. She caught wind of a "legend" at this game through a group of friends. According to several different people, Joel Altiery, an 8th-semester sociology major, is impossible to beat. Rumor has it that he knows every player. His friends throw around words like "incredible" and "amazing" to describe Altiery's knowledge.
Megan wasn't having it. She has spent the past 20 years listening to me reel off high schools - not just colleges - of professional basketball players. So she challenged them. The stakes - which didn't involve money - were high. Megan, her friends and my friends bet on me. Naturally, Altiery's buddies bet on him.
The format was simple: a committee, comprising representatives from both the Duffy and Altiery camps, came up with a list of 40 current NBA players. Each player was called one-by-one, and we had approximately 20 seconds to write down our answers before the next player was announced. One point was awarded for collegiate and international players, and players drafted straight out of high school were worth two points.
I'm a decent athlete, but nothing special. I'm a decent student, but I skip class too much to be considered "smart." I am lost when it comes to technology and handy-work around the house. If you read my weekly column in The Daily Campus this year, you know I'm a crappy writer. And if you look at the mugshot above, it's pretty clear that God didn't bless me with good looks, either.
He did, however, bless me with one special gift: the ability to memorize where NBA players went to college. I only need to see a player's college once before it's engraved into my mind forever. It's the one area of life where I feel useful to humanity.
My friends know how good I am. Whenever they desperately need to know where Tony Battie went to school, I'm always there to tell them "Texas Tech."
Enter my sister, Megan Duffy, a 4th-semester business major at UConn. She caught wind of a "legend" at this game through a group of friends. According to several different people, Joel Altiery, an 8th-semester sociology major, is impossible to beat. Rumor has it that he knows every player. His friends throw around words like "incredible" and "amazing" to describe Altiery's knowledge.
Megan wasn't having it. She has spent the past 20 years listening to me reel off high schools - not just colleges - of professional basketball players. So she challenged them. The stakes - which didn't involve money - were high. Megan, her friends and my friends bet on me. Naturally, Altiery's buddies bet on him.
The format was simple: a committee, comprising representatives from both the Duffy and Altiery camps, came up with a list of 40 current NBA players. Each player was called one-by-one, and we had approximately 20 seconds to write down our answers before the next player was announced. One point was awarded for collegiate and international players, and players drafted straight out of high school were worth two points.
Viewing Comments 1 - 9 of 11
Larry Nauss
posted 4/21/09 @ 8:48 PM EST
Keep your chin up, Kevin. That was a great story. There's no shame in losing to somebody with that much useless sports trivia knowledge rattling around in their otherwise empty head. (Continued…)
Sean McGuffin
posted 4/21/09 @ 11:13 PM EST
Could have been a good article, poorest sportsmanship I've seen in a while, Larry Nauss's response is the exact reason you owe Joel a huge apology.
Sean Dwyer
posted 4/22/09 @ 12:38 AM EST
Owe a huge apology? Are you kidding me? Obviously you missed the humor in the article. The story was great and very entertaining. It's absolutely pathetic to get upset over something like this. (Continued…)
Anonymous
posted 4/22/09 @ 12:59 AM EST
The problem with the article is not what it meant to say, whether joke or not, but how it portrayed the situation and how it is perceived by the rest of the people reading the article. (Continued…)
Sean McGuffin
posted 4/22/09 @ 10:03 AM EST
Wow I should read over what I write before I post a short essay like that. I just wanted to say that I've been a huge fan of Kevin's editorials all year long and his sister can attest to that, and I will still be a fan a week from now when all this blows over. (Continued…)
Rick Casagrande
Rick Casagrande
posted 4/22/09 @ 11:51 AM EST
What it comes down to is that they're both losers. I was at the competition and was seconds away from castrating myself. I do, however, think that if Joel was upset about the article then he should grow up. (Continued…)
Sean McGuffin
posted 4/22/09 @ 12:14 PM EST
Let's look at the real problem here, this was the first event i've ever organized in my entire life, and it all went to shit. Moral of the Story... Sean McGuffin: Worst Organizer Ever
Ryan Toussaint
posted 4/22/09 @ 1:17 PM EST
Man, after reading the article, I didn't think that anything could be funnier, that was until I read some of your comments. If you are really taking offense to this article your ego is seriously out of whack my friends. (Continued…)
Sean McGuffin
posted 4/22/09 @ 2:14 PM EST
I'd just like to apologize for anything I might have done or said, I reacted too quickly to this article and I regret getting involved.
Now that I got that out of the way let's get to the real point here. (Continued…)
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