Spring Break
Summer plans that don't involve leaving your chair
John Bailey
Issue date: 5/10/09 Section: Focus
Congratulations! You've slept through enough exams, stolen enough dorm furniture and drank enough 10 a.m. beers to merit a bona fide, genuine-article, accept-no-substitutes UConn diploma! Wasn't that hard? Pat yourself on the back, buddy, you've earned it…no, with the other hand. You don't want to spill your beer.
Anyway, all that work, it tires a person out. And you're supposed to keep working? "Oh, it's so hard to find a job," "oh, I've been sending out billions of resumes and nobody calls me back." That's what you're supposed to be doing! More work! No. After four years, you are through. This summer, you are done working. For that matter, you're done getting up out of your chair. Here's your itinerary:
Learn a zany instrument
You've always wanted to impress your friends with an unusual musical talent, and everyone's tired of your armpit-fart "Crazy Train." But many instruments, like the double bass and the giant pile of tuned monkey skulls, require that you stand up to practice! Difficult!
Fortunately, there are plenty of music-makers that allow you to indulge your bountiful butt cheeks: the musical saw, for instance, can be played sitting down. And it's not hard to learn, or so I've heard! Even if it is, you've got plenty of time, since you're not working and it doesn't cost much money, which is great, since you're not working.
Saw teeth too scary? No worries - learn the harmonica! It's a party trick and an essential nugget of distilled Americana rolled up in one. Got some extra cash? Buy a theremin.
And if it's too much effort to drive to the store, stay home and work on those vocal chops. Ever tried to yodel? Ever tried to freestyle? I bet you could.
Start a blog
With dozens of free blogging services, never before has your La-Z-Boy been such a perfect soapbox. If you have opinions and a functional motor cortex, you can shout your thoughts from the highest digital peaks - and on the Internet, someone will want to hear them.
Anyway, all that work, it tires a person out. And you're supposed to keep working? "Oh, it's so hard to find a job," "oh, I've been sending out billions of resumes and nobody calls me back." That's what you're supposed to be doing! More work! No. After four years, you are through. This summer, you are done working. For that matter, you're done getting up out of your chair. Here's your itinerary:
Learn a zany instrument
You've always wanted to impress your friends with an unusual musical talent, and everyone's tired of your armpit-fart "Crazy Train." But many instruments, like the double bass and the giant pile of tuned monkey skulls, require that you stand up to practice! Difficult!
Fortunately, there are plenty of music-makers that allow you to indulge your bountiful butt cheeks: the musical saw, for instance, can be played sitting down. And it's not hard to learn, or so I've heard! Even if it is, you've got plenty of time, since you're not working and it doesn't cost much money, which is great, since you're not working.
Saw teeth too scary? No worries - learn the harmonica! It's a party trick and an essential nugget of distilled Americana rolled up in one. Got some extra cash? Buy a theremin.
And if it's too much effort to drive to the store, stay home and work on those vocal chops. Ever tried to yodel? Ever tried to freestyle? I bet you could.
Start a blog
With dozens of free blogging services, never before has your La-Z-Boy been such a perfect soapbox. If you have opinions and a functional motor cortex, you can shout your thoughts from the highest digital peaks - and on the Internet, someone will want to hear them.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
Michelle
posted 5/10/09 @ 4:17 PM EST
For musical saw inspiration check out the annual Musical Saw Festival in NYC: http://www.musicalsawfestival.org
Great video there. You can watch it without leaving your chair :)
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