Spring Break
NBA awards the league forgot to hand out
Jake Goldberg
Issue date: 6/15/09 Section: Sports
The I-look-like-a-hustle-player-but-am-not Award:
This year we have a tie between Anderson Varejao and Joakim Noah. Both are considered to be hustle players that dive for loose balls and sprint down the floor, but in actuality they just have very long and fluffy hair that bounces around. Without the hair movement it would look like they are moving in slow motion, but with those ugly manes flopping in the breeze it looks like they have expended enough energy to power a third world country. Both seem out of shape, both could produce more with their size and neither are able to play a full game.
The Sam Bowie Award:
I imagine the front office of the Portland Trailblazers looks at Kevin Durant's stat line daily and ask themselves, 'why'? Let's see what their team would look like if they would have drafted Durant over Greg Oden two drafts ago: PG Steve Blake, SG Brandon Roy, SF Kevin Durant, PF LaMarcus Aldridge and C Joel Przybilla. They would be infinitely scarier with KD in the starting lineup instead of Greg Oden sitting on the bench. They can take solace in the fact they are still a talented team but they seem to have wasted a draft pick on an injury-prone average center.
This year we have a tie between Anderson Varejao and Joakim Noah. Both are considered to be hustle players that dive for loose balls and sprint down the floor, but in actuality they just have very long and fluffy hair that bounces around. Without the hair movement it would look like they are moving in slow motion, but with those ugly manes flopping in the breeze it looks like they have expended enough energy to power a third world country. Both seem out of shape, both could produce more with their size and neither are able to play a full game.
The Sam Bowie Award:
I imagine the front office of the Portland Trailblazers looks at Kevin Durant's stat line daily and ask themselves, 'why'? Let's see what their team would look like if they would have drafted Durant over Greg Oden two drafts ago: PG Steve Blake, SG Brandon Roy, SF Kevin Durant, PF LaMarcus Aldridge and C Joel Przybilla. They would be infinitely scarier with KD in the starting lineup instead of Greg Oden sitting on the bench. They can take solace in the fact they are still a talented team but they seem to have wasted a draft pick on an injury-prone average center.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
testking 646-588
posted 7/02/09 @ 9:07 AM EST
Its nice if the NBA will be awarded for the session of 2008-2009, nice article this time.
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